Friday, 2 March 2007

Can I run away yet?

Baby Child is 9 weeks old, and Oldest Child is starting to realise that she's here to stay. The result of this realisation is clinging to me like stickiness to a toddler's face. That is, she never goes far.

I literally have to peel her off my legs when I leave her for nursery school. I feel like I'm damaging her permanently every morning. I've planned fun activities for us to do after school each day, while Middle Child and Baby Child are napping, but it's still not good enough. I sometimes go out in the evenings to, you know, do non-mom things, but even though she's with her daddy, it's still not good enough. (How's that for a comma-filled sentence?)

Quite frankly, unless she has my attention 100% of the time, from waking to sleeping, it's not good enough. I'm exhausted. I love her, I have fun with her, but I really need a break. And lots of chocolate.

I'm tired of feeling like a not-good-enough mother. This is hard work.

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