Monday, 14 January 2008

Okay, So.

It all started last October, when some people on a forum I frequent started gearing up for NaNoWriMo. I wasn't up to writing a novel at that time (and I will likely remain in that state for many years to come), but then someone mentioned NaBloPoMo, and I thought "Hey, I could do that."

And so I joined the site and started blogging. After a while, people started leaving comments; I was no longer typing into the cavernous abyss of the internet. That was cool! I was very excited to see comments, for sure.

Then, one day, I came across Technorati. It turns out that the lovely Aphra Behn came across my blog in the NaNoBloMo Randomizer, and wrote a flattering review of my blog. I've gotta say, I was absolutely floored. Suddenly, I had a fan. Someone admired my writing style. That is big. Really big.

So after that, I started brushing up on my blogging skills and the best way to get my name out there on the internet. I registered with a website that tracks the number of visitors I receive each day, and if you subtract about 4 from the sum total of daily traffic (because for some reason I perpetually click onto my own blog throughout the day, as if something new might have shown up in between my own posts...), it would appear that I have about 10 visitors every day. Nice!

Then the realisation hit me. I have to start writing for my audience. I really aught to think of interesting things to talk about, so people (1) come back for more and (2) get a good impression of me. Because -- and I'm being very honest with you right now -- this blog is an exercise in narcissism. I don't write for you, dear readers, even though every good writer should write for her audience, right? (Yeah, don't read that sentence out loud.)

I write for myself. I write because if I didn't have somewhere to turn the stressful, inane moments of my day into humourous stories or interesting musings, I might go a little doo-lally. Well, a little more doo-lally. I write because I got married and had kids at a young age, didn't go to university, and really want to do something with my mind that is creative and clever so that I can say to myself, "See! You aren't all about nappies and bedtimes and snotty noses! There's more to you than 'Wife and Mother', and that's a Good Thing!"

So, after realising that I have a few readers and a few admirers, I became shy. I've become embarrassed about the fact that once I hit "Publish Post" my words fly away from me and are read and interpreted by virtual strangers. It's almost like I take a little piece of myself, give it a spit polish, and present it to you whilst blind-folded and wearing a hopeful smile.

I thank you all for accepting my gifts with grace and kindness, even if they are still a little rough around the edges.

1 comment:

Um... Yum! said...

I think every single blogger out there...no, every single writer out there is narcissistic on some level...because obviously we think we have something to say that is worth another person's time to read. But I think that can go as far as saying if you speak, that's narcissistic. hahaha

I think you should write for yourself because there is no pleasing every single person. The advice most writers get is write what you know. If your entry pleases you, it will please those who want to read your blog. :o) Unfortunately with most artists, the piece they like the best is the one not many people will care about, while the piece they just kind of throw out there will be the one most well received. It just happens. I kind of think it's better that way.