Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Quiet Corner, 1 Week On

So, a week after setting up the quiet corner, and I am happy to report that things are going well!

The lure of the new toys as they got delivered to the house was enough to cause a bit of a raucous one night, when everyone wanted to hold the egg light (especially the toddler). It is very pretty and the slow change from one colour to the next is quite soothing.

I am incredibly pleased when I see one of the kids chilling in the corner, headphones on and flicking through a book or looking at the gel timer. Sometimes they gravitate towards it because they are at a lull in their chosen activities, but several times I have noticed someone purposely sitting there in order to calm down.

My nine year old daughter is full of pre-pubescent hormones and sometimes loses her temper in a spectacularly loud fashion. (um, I wonder where she got that from? yikes)

The other day, when she was particularly annoyed with her brother, she stomped off and sat down in a huff for a bit of quiet time. She put the headphones on, read a picture book, and was in her own little world for a while until she felt able to deal with other people again.

It's not all roses and unicorns here, though. There is no magic cure for cross tempers or clashing personalities! The toddler wanders off with the Quiet Corner supplies, much to everyone's consternation, and there are moments when a person can't even breathe loudly in the vicinity of the stressed person.

I have yet to use the corner myself. I don't quite fit, for a start. It is definitely a child-sized space.

This article on the disadvantages of time-outs really makes a lot of sense to me. I like that our Quiet Corner isn't a punishment, or a banishment. It's a chance to relax in a dedicated space, whenever a person feels like they need it. I think I need an adult's version somewhere else in the house!


Shauna said...

I read over the article and thought it very interesting too. I agreed with the author's point that we need to teach our children conflict resolution skills and not just banish them. But I think when a child is just yelling/throwing a fit and is not able to listen to my ever-patient guidance (ha!), they need a cool down. And I thoroughly disagree with the author that we need to let our children "rage." I think I need to teach my children how to control themselves.

You and i sound similar with our short tempers. A paradigm that has helped me is to remember that I am supposed to teach and instruct my children. And if I feel like I've told them to do or not do something many times before, Heavenly Father doesn't lecture me for making the same mistakes. :)

Raisin4Cookies said...

I must have missed the part about raging! One way that helps my kids come out of a rage is to acknowledge their frustration and put it into words for them. If that doesn't work, I like to invent a fantastical solution to the problem (for example, if someone used up the last of the bread and someone else is very upset about the fact, I will say, "I wish this whole house was made of bread! I wish it rained bread!" and so on. It tends to pull them out of their anger and puts them into a place where they can work out a solution to their problem.)

Ah, lecturing. I have to bite my tongue a LOT and remind myself that I never respond positively to lecturing, so why should they?!

I sometimes think that we as adults need to spend more time REMEMBERING what it's like to be a kid.

Shauna said...

The raging comment was very brief, and she included it with other emotions, basically saying we should love our children during those outbursts of emotion.

good point about remember to be a kid. I try to do that, and realize more each day how teachable my children are. I was looking through a Calvin and Hobbes book today. A strip showed Calvin going through his day of trials at home, school, etc. and how he felt like he always fell short, only for his mom to come in at the end, give him a kiss and say, "Tomorrow is another big day!" He sighed. I love the wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes!

Raisin4Cookies said...

I should read more Calvin & Hobbes! What a sweet comic.